and there is no other

tell them
what was lost
being lost
who we are forgetting
when the past fades behind the sunset
and I become the soil
again
remind my friends there was once
something worthy of worship in life
artful rhythm in the movement of every day
and the arbitrary moments I saw
necessary
each second
frame
cut
tailored to a refinement
I saw beauty as infinite
across the plane
small, but specifically indefinite
my world, right now
unsure but intimate
viewing outside the box like I’m
still a square 1o year old
watching externally
the dressed up delinquents that pass the café window
13 I’m leaving home
into the forest
alone 14 years alone
meeting new states of mind
possibilities
still trying to find them
define them
confined to walls
15 walking down the line
of returning and
burning back to my island
16 still supposing this must be
a solitary refinery
this must be me
17 psychedelics and music working out
I’m still a loser
but I’m proud of my lacking
of general abilities or social skills
one love
that ends too
because lust corrodes
and love owes nothing to the below
only above
the gods love me
and never punish lightly
so at 18 I still go out nightly to the forest
howling to the moon
kissing sand and stone
this rock is mine
and I am this rock
I belong to her more than anything
and to no one else
I can never really leave
chained down to the ferns and koa leaf
hotel buildings
always going up
and coming down
drowning at the beach
ocean, sewage spewing industrial basalt reef mountain
I love you too
and there is no other
better
so I’m like sediment
settling for lesser
darker places of greater depth
this is the exchange we make
in all interactions, transactions, and breaths
the exact moment is cut down
to realize
identify the key elements
that build life
I see they are made of the dying
my decomposing body
is fertilizer for the soul to emerge
from this hole on the verge of the worlds
where I wait for you